One of my favorite chapters in
The Power of the Presence, Part Two is the one on
Lakshmana Swamy. As a child itself, he doesn't have much faith in stone statues being God. Then he has a terrifying XP where the power of Rama
nama saves him: (pp. 210-211)
In my seventeenth year, while I was still at school, an inexplicable incident occurred that changed my life. I was sleeping in my family's house when an unknown malevolent force appeared to descend on me. I awoke with a tremendous pressure bearing down on my chest and my immediate reaction was that some unknown evil force was trying to kill me. Immediately and spontaneously the Rama mantra, 'Rama, Rama' erupted from within me with a great roaring sound. I did not decide to say it, it just naturally burst out of me with great force. The evil presence, which could not compete with its power, vanished immediately. I had never repeated this mantra before, nor had it ever occurred to me that this mantra had any power. Prior to this remarkable incident I had been utterly sceptical about all matters pertaining to religion, but my lack of belief could not withstand this direct, first-hand experience. Concluding that there must be some power in the mantra, I began to repeat it on a regular basis. At the same time I also started doing pranayama, yogic breathing exercises.
I wonder whether "the malevolent force" is the same as the
succubus. Anyway, after some years, he has the XP of the Formless: (page 214, middle)
I was sitting there on evening in the padmasana [full lotus] position just as darkness was beginning to fall. As I began my usual pranayama exercises, the mind suddenly became concentrated, focussed and utterly still. There was a flash of light within me. It persisted and I became aware of an inner divine light, shining in all its magnificence. The light encircled and engulfed me and within a few seconds I lost all consciousness of the body. There was total inner stillness. Paramatman, the Supreme Self, shone within me in its fullest glory and splendor. The effulgence of Atman within me impressed on me the fact that Atman is God Himself in this temple of the physical body. My joy knew no bounds because I realized that Atman had become my Guru.
The experience was a brief one but it gave me a glimpse and a foretaste of the goal I was aiming at. I tried on many occasions to repeat this experience but it never returned. I reluctantly came to the conclusion that I would never be able to establish myself in a state of permanent Self-awareness through my own efforts. I realized that a Guru in human form was necessary, and that the formless Atman could not, by itself, bring about my realization.
After a year, he attends a lecture where his English professor talks of Ramana Maharshi. Soon after, he sees a small booklet entitled
Sri Ramana Maharshi and finds the following verse on the first page: (page 215, bottom)
In the interior of the Heart-cave, the one Supreme Being, Brahman, shines as 'I-I', verily the Atman. Entering into the Heart with a one-pointed mind either through self-enquiry or by diving within or by breath control, abide thou in Atmanishta [the state of being firmly established in the Self].
At the beginning of 1949, Lakshmana Swamy makes a trip to Tiruvannamalai after one of his aunts, who had already been to see Ramana Maharshi, described Him as 'a ripe fruit about to drop off the tree'. There he has another XP: (pp. 217-218)
On one of the days of my visit I was standing by the main ashram well. Bhagavan was sitting nearby on a bench outside the hall where he usually slept, listening to a group of brahmin boys chant extracts from the Vedas. As I looked at the scene in front of me the world completely lost its solid, substantial reality. I became aware that everything I was perceiving in that scene was nothing more than a dream-like projection. This experience gave me the certainty that everything in the world, including the body of Bhagavan that I was concentrating on, was unreal. As I gazed at the scene I had the knowledge and the experience that the real Ramana Maharshi was not the dream body I saw before me, it was the formless, effulgent Self that I had experienced on the dried-up lakebed in Gudur. This experience soon passed away though, leaving me in my former state.
Why the XP of the Formless doesn't last for long has been explained by Sri Ramakrishna: (
Gospel,
The Master on Himself and His Experiences, page 831, top)
"Further, He revealed to me a huge reservoir of water covered with green scum. The wind moved a little of the scum and immediately the water became visible; but in the twinkling of an eye, scum from all sides came dancing in and again covered the water. He revealed to me that the water was like Satchidananda, and the scum like māyā. On account of māyā, Satchidananda is not seen. Though now and then one may get a glimpse of It, again māyā covers It."
During the
Navaratri celebrations of 1949, he has one more XP: (page 220, middle to page 221)
I went up to Bhagavan and made a full prostration in front of him. When I stood up, Bhagavan looked intently at me for a few moments. I withdrew and went to look for a place where I could do self-enquiry and not be disturbed by the other devotees. …. I closed my eyes and began to do 'Who am I?', the quest for the Self.
Within a few minutes I found that all thoughts had disappeared except for the primal 'I'-thought. The question 'Who am I?' then spontaneously appeared within me. As it did so, the gracious smiling face of Ramana Maharshi appeared within me on the right side of the chest. There was something like a lightning flash that resulted in a flood of divine light shining both within and without. Bhagavan's face was still smiling on the right side of my chest. It seemed to be lit up with a radiance that exceeded innumerable lightning flashes rolled into one. The bliss and joy these experiences gave me brought tears to my eyes. A torrential flow welled up within me and rolled down my face. I was unable to control them in any way. Finally, the 'I'-thought went back to its source, the internal picture of Ramana Maharshi disappeared, and the Self absorbed my whole being. From that moment on he Self shone alone and the 'I'-thought, the individual self, never arose or functioned in me again. It was permanently destroyed through the grace of my Guru in his holy presence.
When
David Godman asked Lakshmana Swamy to elaborate on this XP, his reply was: (footnote on page 221)
The I went back to its source, the Self, and disappeared without trace. The Self remained alone. It is eternal peace and bliss.
Somewhat like Sri Ramakrishna's allusion: (
Visit to Vidyasagar, page 103, top)
"In samādhi one attains the Knowledge of Brahman - one realizes Brahman. In that state reasoning stops altogether, and man becomes mute. He has no power to describe the nature of Brahman.
"Once a salt doll went to measure the depth of the ocean. (All laugh.) It wanted to tell others how deep the water was. But this it could never do, for no sooner did it get into the water than it melted. Now who was there to report the ocean's depth?"
The next afternoon: (page 222, top)
…I went up to Bhagavan in the darshan hall, prostrated before him, and handed him a note via his attendant Venkataratnam. The note, which I had written in Telugu said, 'Bhagavan, in your presence and by the quest ["Who am I?"] I have realized the Self'.
Bhagavan read the note, looked at me for a moment, and then his face lit up in a radiant smile. For some time we just looked at each other.
Bhagavan broke the silence by asking me where I had come from.
'Gudur,' I replied.
'That's in Nellore District, isn't it?' enquired Bhagavan.
'Yes', I answered.
This was the only conversation I ever had with Bhagavan. After giving him these two brief replies, I didn't speak again for another thirteen years.
When
David Godman asked Lakshmana Swamy why he had remained silent for so long, his reply was: (footnote on page 222)
The experience of the Self is beyond words and speech. It is impossible to explain it or talk about it. Since there was nothing I could say about it, I kept quiet.
Lakshmana Swamy now stays in
Tiruvannamalai. Balan and i visited his home when we were there on 15.APR.2007.
